How does a person know if God is speaking to them? How does one know the difference between an opportunity created by God, and a strong desire within one's self? How does a person know if the peace that floods their soul in a time of trouble is from God, or an emotion based on imagination?
To be perfectly honest, I have a hard time figuring out what God wants me to do a lot of times. Aside from the obvious things outlined in the Bible, I never quite know what I should do concerning things like where to live, what ministry to be involved in, etc. My philosophy is that if what I want to do doesn't contradict with what the Bible says, go ahead and try it, then God will open and close the appropriate doors. I don't know if that is right or not. That way can create problems, because it is hard to differentiate between obstacles to persevere and a closed door.
I want to make decisions based on God's will and not my own, but it is hard when I don't feel that I can hear Him.
Does anyone have any ideas on this topic with supporting Scripture passages?
Friday, November 2, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2007
For Anyone Who's Ever Been Let Down
I watched my life unravel, slowly, thread by thread. First, I felt myself slipping back into my old way of thinking, and my optimism was tainted with negativity. Then, I kept secrets that weren't meant to be kept. The friendships I had were slowly growing distant, and trust was displaced as betrayal took its place. I look back on this time and only remember anger & tears mixed with sad songs.
It wasn't the fact it was over that bothered me, it was that he'd never said he was sorry.
It also wasn't the fact that she'd replaced me that hurt the most; it was that she never had time for me anymore, not even to return a simple phone call.
I remember praying that things would get better-that God would send me some friends who wouldn't let me down. As I was basking in self-pity and bitterness, I realized something I had never thought of before.
Despite my incessant complaining, Jesus managed to get some words in. He reminded me that He had been let down by His closest friends before. The biggest betrayal of Jesus that comes to my mind is that of Judas Iscariot. Who would sell their friend to people who wanted Him dead? Not only did Judas let him down, but His other friends did as well. When He was praying in the Garden before His crucifixion, His diciples couldn't even stay awake, though His life depended on it. After He was arrested, His friends scattered. Peter wouldn't even admit that he knew Jesus.
I began to realize how faithful Jesus is to me even when I am unfaithful. Am I not doing the same things to Him, that I am condemning my friends for? I don't always make time for Him. If I were a true friend, I would make Him a higher priority. I would sacrifice myself and my reputation for Him. Every time I do something that displeases him- every hateful thought that crosses my mind, every lie, every time I do the wrong thing when i clearly know the right- is it not a form of letting Him down? Is it not a complete display of ungratefulness and spite? He gave His life for me, not just to save me from Hell, but so He can spend eternity with me. Is there any greater love than this? No, of course not. And yet I find myself trying so hard to please people that don't even love me a fraction as much, while pushing Him aside. I put my own selfish desires (especially my desire to "fit in" and be accepted), above Him. Sometimes, my actions deny that I am a follower of Christ, so that people will think I am cool. Am I not any better than Peter, when He denied knowing Christ? I waste my time on pointless things and yet I'm "too busy" to pray. Am I not any better than the sleeping disciples? When I seek the approval of others, before the approval of Christ, am I not betraying Him blatantly and obviously? And yet, despite my lack of loyalty, Christ remains faithful, and keeps on loving me unconditionally. This is uncomprehendable.
I pray that I'll be the sort of friend (both to Jesus and to people) that He has been to me...
It wasn't the fact it was over that bothered me, it was that he'd never said he was sorry.
It also wasn't the fact that she'd replaced me that hurt the most; it was that she never had time for me anymore, not even to return a simple phone call.
I remember praying that things would get better-that God would send me some friends who wouldn't let me down. As I was basking in self-pity and bitterness, I realized something I had never thought of before.
Despite my incessant complaining, Jesus managed to get some words in. He reminded me that He had been let down by His closest friends before. The biggest betrayal of Jesus that comes to my mind is that of Judas Iscariot. Who would sell their friend to people who wanted Him dead? Not only did Judas let him down, but His other friends did as well. When He was praying in the Garden before His crucifixion, His diciples couldn't even stay awake, though His life depended on it. After He was arrested, His friends scattered. Peter wouldn't even admit that he knew Jesus.
I began to realize how faithful Jesus is to me even when I am unfaithful. Am I not doing the same things to Him, that I am condemning my friends for? I don't always make time for Him. If I were a true friend, I would make Him a higher priority. I would sacrifice myself and my reputation for Him. Every time I do something that displeases him- every hateful thought that crosses my mind, every lie, every time I do the wrong thing when i clearly know the right- is it not a form of letting Him down? Is it not a complete display of ungratefulness and spite? He gave His life for me, not just to save me from Hell, but so He can spend eternity with me. Is there any greater love than this? No, of course not. And yet I find myself trying so hard to please people that don't even love me a fraction as much, while pushing Him aside. I put my own selfish desires (especially my desire to "fit in" and be accepted), above Him. Sometimes, my actions deny that I am a follower of Christ, so that people will think I am cool. Am I not any better than Peter, when He denied knowing Christ? I waste my time on pointless things and yet I'm "too busy" to pray. Am I not any better than the sleeping disciples? When I seek the approval of others, before the approval of Christ, am I not betraying Him blatantly and obviously? And yet, despite my lack of loyalty, Christ remains faithful, and keeps on loving me unconditionally. This is uncomprehendable.
I pray that I'll be the sort of friend (both to Jesus and to people) that He has been to me...
Friday, April 13, 2007
The Events of April 11th
I was at home, changing the strings on my guitar, when I got a call from my dad. He wondered where I was, and he seemed so relieved to know that I was home. He explained that he had heard a call dispatched over his work radio about a motor vehicle collision on the intersection of 175th and 128th. This is about a mile and a half from where i live, and I use this intersection quite frequently. One of the people had been airlifted to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle. I hung up the phone, and forgot about the call.
A little later, I was on my way to the mall to meet some friends for dessert. I turned onto 175th mindlessly, and sure enough it was closed. I went back a little ways, and took a different route out to 128th. I got onto 128th, and saw a sign that said the road was closed ahead. Rather than immediately turn around, like some of the other drivers, I kept driving to see if I could get a closer look.
The scene I encountered was eerie. The sky was dark gray, and threatened rain. The road was blocked by neon orange cones, nearly the only color besides gray, brown, and black in the entire scene. There was a thin ribbon of yellow tape strung across the road up by the powerlines. The four lanes that are normally busy were empty, except for a police car down by the orange cones and one up by the other set of cones. Between them, the road was empty except for the motorcyle lying on its side in the middle. I don't know what made it so eerie. Maybe it was the lack of color, and the harshness of the sky. Maybe it was the fact that it could've happened to me. Maybe it was the fact that the person could've died on the spot. I don't know what it was, but seeing it put me in a contemplative, intense mood.
The next morning, the only things remaining were neon orange and pink markings, left by accident investigation, skid marks, and gasoline stains, on the double yellow line.
A little later, I was on my way to the mall to meet some friends for dessert. I turned onto 175th mindlessly, and sure enough it was closed. I went back a little ways, and took a different route out to 128th. I got onto 128th, and saw a sign that said the road was closed ahead. Rather than immediately turn around, like some of the other drivers, I kept driving to see if I could get a closer look.
The scene I encountered was eerie. The sky was dark gray, and threatened rain. The road was blocked by neon orange cones, nearly the only color besides gray, brown, and black in the entire scene. There was a thin ribbon of yellow tape strung across the road up by the powerlines. The four lanes that are normally busy were empty, except for a police car down by the orange cones and one up by the other set of cones. Between them, the road was empty except for the motorcyle lying on its side in the middle. I don't know what made it so eerie. Maybe it was the lack of color, and the harshness of the sky. Maybe it was the fact that it could've happened to me. Maybe it was the fact that the person could've died on the spot. I don't know what it was, but seeing it put me in a contemplative, intense mood.
The next morning, the only things remaining were neon orange and pink markings, left by accident investigation, skid marks, and gasoline stains, on the double yellow line.
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